💥A Mother’s Unending Grief As the seventh anniversary approaches, Lisa Squire says she is still haunted by her daughter’s killer “playing games” with her pain.

The mum of murdered Libby Squir says her daughter’s killer is an “absolute coward” after twice refusing to meet her. Lisa Squire, 52, wanted to come face to face with the murdering dad but the inmate said ‘no’ to both her requests.

She is speaking to The Mirror, as she approaches the grim seven year anniversary of her daughter’s death. University student Libby, 21, was raped and murdered in Hull by Pawel Relowicz on February 1st 2019.

Mrs Squire said: “Twice he turned me down to meet. I applied the first time and it took me right through to the end and then said he wouldn’t see me. He was appealing his sentence. So then I reapplied the second year and he said ‘no’ straight away, which completely destroyed me. It devastated me, I felt like I’d let Libby down. I had to go home from work because I was so upset. I thought ‘you’re playing a game with me’.”

About the questions she has for him, she said: “We still don’t know how she died, we’re left with two possibilities: strangulation and or suffocation. I know her date of birth but I don’t know what time she died. There’s only one man who knows that but he’s a psychopath and won’t tell me.

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Lisa Squire says she will not ask her killer to meet her again as he loves the ‘control’(Image: Philip Coburn/Daily Mirror)

“I won’t ask again because that’s the only bit of control he’s got. I won’t let him do that to me so I’ve stopped. He’s an absolute coward. He doesn’t like strong women or women, at the end of the day.”

He should be scared of Lisa, she is such a strong woman whose ‘It Does Matter’ campaign has changed legislation to stop evil men like him claiming more lives. She has fought to get non-contact sexual offences, such as flashing, taken seriously and treated like the red flag to murder it can be. Police now highlight this in training.

About the sad milestone she faces, she said: “I can’t believe it’s been seven years since I’ve spoken to her and seven years since I held her. It’s still like it happened yesterday.”

Lisa Squire says she moved a desk into her daughter’s room where she keeps busy doing ‘my Libby work’(Image: Philip Coburn/Daily Mirror)

She said the 48 days when Libby was missing were ‘absolute torture’.

Libby was finally found floating in the Humber Estuary on March 20th 2019. “I think that not knowing where she was, was actually harder than knowing that she was dead, “

She explained how when her family liaison officer Sam phoned her with the news ‘a body had been found’ and later called back to break the news: ‘Lisa, it’s Libby’ she was conflicted.

“I remember just sitting down on the sofa and handing Russell the phone, and it was like I was the only person in the room, it was really weird. I remember hearing my mum crying in the kitchen. I don’t even remember her coming in. It was bizarre. I knew she was dead but having it confirmed was so tough.

Lisa Squire and her daughter had an incredible bond and her mum wants the world to remember that in her death she has saved other women.(Image: TIM ANDERSON)

“I remember the physical pain, I remember saying to one of my friends it felt like my already broken heart was physically breaking again. It was horrendous knowing I was never going to hear or hug her again. But at least she was home. She was back.”

About her decision to ignore police advice not to see the body, she said: “I needed to be with her again.

“I remember going into the room and just felt like I’d won the lottery because I could hold her hand again and I stroked her face and gave her a kiss and I wanted to see her, to know it was her. I wanted to be able to know that she was safe again. I needed to tell her ‘you’re safe, you’re back home’, ‘thank you for coming back’.

“She didn’t look like Libby, her body was swollen from the water but she was still as gorgeous as she’d ever been. It was such a privilege to see her in her death. I told her ‘no one’s gonna hurt you again, it’s not what I wanted but thank you for coming back’.

“It was the most healing thing I have done in this entire seven years because I don’t think I’d be doing what I do today without having seen her, it brought me so much comfort.

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Libby’s mum says she is relieved her daughter is now ‘home safe’ as her ashes remain on her bed(Image: TIM ANDERSON)

“I think many would probably think it’s a weird thing to want to do. But it wasn’t a want. I needed to do it.”

When Libby was recovered from the river, a gold necklace with the letter L on, was still around her neck.

“I only gave it to her four weeks beforehand for her 21st birthday, January 1st,” Lisa said.

“It had such a fine chain on it and I bought (her sister) Beth the same necklace for her 21st birthday, I bought her one with an L and a B on it. That chain broke within a few weeks of Beth wearing it, so I do not know how that chain didn’t break on Libby.

“It was almost like she was saying ‘look you might not know it’s me, but the L will prove it’. It was cutting into her neck because she was swollen but it still did not break, the L was at the back, and it was almost like her saying, ‘this is me’.

“I just thought; ‘Oh lovely you did wear it’. It was part of me with her when she was away from me.”

That necklace has now been returned to her bedroom which remains largely untouched, Libby’s ashes sit on the single bed surrounded by soft toys and a Louis Theroux cushion.

“Libby is now back in her bedroom. Libby’s on her bed, her ashes in the gift bag that she came home in,” Lisa explained.

“We watch telly together and it feels so right and it was always where she was in her bedroom on her bed, it’s lovely. I still go into her room every morning and open her curtains and say, ‘morning chicken’, which is what I used to say to her, and then I, before I go up to bed at night time, I close their curtains and say, ‘night darling, love you, see you in the morning’.”

Lisa’s desk sits very close to Libby’s bed and she explains: “The work I am doing is all about her, so it feels like the perfect place to do ‘my libby work’.

“It feels really special to have her here. I know she’s safe here and I know where she is. Sometimes I go in there and it really smells of her in that room and then other days I go there and I can’t smell her and I say to her; ‘Where did you stay last night? You weren’t at home.’

“I do find it comforting, especially when I’m working in there. I really feel her presence. I tell her; ‘I’ve been talking about you again.”

“I’ve said to the children when I die, mix me with her. Mix our ashes together. I don’t want a gravestone for Libby, having people walk past whispering ‘that’s the girl who was raped and murdered.’

“I want her to be remembered as an amazing human being because she was the funniest person you would ever meet, the kindest person you would ever meet. I want her to be remembered as a girl who lost her life in the most horrendous way but because of her numerous women have been saved.

“She came back against the odds, proved he had raped her by holding onto the DNA. In death she has made a huge difference.

“In her death countless women have been saved and that’s what I want her legacy to be.”